canis lupus

So last night I had another of my (incredibly numerous) odd/ridiculously detailed dreams.
Have you ever tried to write out your dreams? It’s actually really difficult to put them properly into words (or at least, it is for me!).

Something is happening.
I am running.
I don’t know what led up to this.

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I, The Rabbit

During the last semester at school I ran out of pages in my journal.  Instead of going out and finding a new one, I started a private blog with wordpress, that only I can see.  An online-diary of sorts.
I hate to be one of those youths that thinks (imagine me saying this in a dull, mopey & monotonous voice), “I write poetry, I’m so artsy” but it’s true- sometimes I do write poems, or lyrics to songs without a tune.

And a couple of them have ended up on my little private blog.

It’s kind of weird to think about it, I don’t just sit down and think “okay, time to write a poem” and plan it all out.  If I write one it’s just because it popped into my head.  Wedged it’s way into my conscious mind and refused to leave me alone until I put pen to paper.

So here is one of those poems, written quite recently on December 20th, 2012.

I, The Rabbit

Out from nowhere
fate would have it.
You a hawk
and I, the rabbit.
Swooping down, a friend or foe?
Even now I do not know.
Dare the rabbit pose the question,
‘of us, what is your impression’?
Fear, it killed the rabbit’s voice-
Stuck, the prey must make a choice.
Dare it chance to lose your favor,
with the hope of something greater?

 

 

Kristen LaMier

been a while

It’s already September 27th (2012).  My gosh, time is a ridiculous thing.  It’s either barely ticking by or it’s flying.  I feel lucky though, that (for once) for me, it’s flying.
I’m back at my university in Boston, after an incredibly hard semester last fall and a medical leave in the spring/summer.  My major is changed- from East Asian Studies to Art & Design.  Instead of cramming every bit of information into my notebook, I actually get to (not only work, but) hold conversations with my classmates (who, by the way, speak English. Well. And mostly as their first language).  I don’t think people understand how much easier that makes it to MAKE FRIENDS. Conversation is completely necessary.
Sure, I get stressed sometimes (I honestly feel like the village idiot in my photography class, since everyone else has done the prerequisites at this school while my last photo teacher was simply awful- we learned NOTHING) but I feel that I’m dealing with it better than last year.  Panic attacks? None yet this semester (and we’re what, five weeks in?)!  Which makes me so incredibly happy.  Last fall I was having them at least 3 times per week, and then even on medical leave I was having them (albeit less frequently).
I’m working at the university library, and working out almost every day (“insanity” workouts, running on the treadmills in my building, and my “homework” for physical therapy).  It’s not just that I’m physically exerting myself, but also improving mental health and whatnot, so I try to keep it up.  Every 2 or 3 days, though, I have to rest because my insides just can’t take so much action, and I get sick if I do something.
I’m living on campus again, and it’s so much better than the pit I was in last year.  There’s air conditioning, a dining hall, more than one elevator, lights(in my room), and working heat.
A big throwback, though, is that Witchaya (my man of 3+ years) is on co-op, and so he’s not living in the city.. So I can get pretty lonely.  I mean, growing up as a triplet, with step-sisters and dogs, there has always been someone to come home to at night.  Over the summer I at least had my pup, Lace, waiting at home for me.  But now it’s just me.

I wish I could have a dog here.

Alas, it’s kind of late and I have to get to the Museum of Fine Arts when it opens tomorrow morning.  Good night to anyone who happens to read this- I’ll definitely try to post more frequently on here.